Sometimes we do just grow up all at once.

[jackshoegazer]

My living room contains three thirteen-year old boys who have spent the night eating pizza and junk food, watching zombie movies and playing video games.  Funny, not much has changed since I was thirteen.  Well, the video games look a helluva lot cooler.  Earlier in the day, we took the boys to the pool, ate cake and opened presents.  It's been a fun time.  I think, however, that I will go to bed soon.

I leave for Salt Lake the day after tomorrow.  When I was diagnosed with this heart problem back in 2001, I was overly confident and dismissive - it was nothing, I would be fine, et cetera.  Now, I believe I have a healthy respect for the seriousness of my problem and for its solution and thus, I am good and properly worried.  I do think I'll be fine, but I've lost the patina of invincibility that shines so brightly on our youth.  Again, this is healthy, this is mature.

I never mentioned it in my journal, but a while back, kiwikat and I had a bit of a falling out and now we've patched up our friendship, which is very nice.  It's very good to have my friend back.  In view of this, and perhaps illuminated by my upcoming surgery, I keep thinking maybe I should drop an email or whatnot to other people in my past, whether they deserve it or not.  Just to apologize for the wrong-doings on my end.  Clear my plate, pay my half of the tab.  If they choose to run out on their half, it's not my problem - I've dealt with my responsibility.  I'm getting too old to dine-and-dash.  Metaphorically.   And literally I suppose as well. 

Comments

[shortcakeness.livejournal.com]

safe travels all around and a happy birthday to ethan:)

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :D

I'm getting too old to dine-and-dash

[mustangsally78.livejournal.com]

As we all are, hon. True that.

It's a brave thing that you're doing and we're pulling for you here in Florida!

Re: I'm getting too old to dine-and-dash

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[blackbuttoneyes.livejournal.com]

I am sending the most powerful healy feelgood thoughts across the country!

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

YAY! Thank you! Well received!

[feather.livejournal.com]

Hope all goes well and I'll be thinking about you!!

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

Thank yoU!

[castleclear.livejournal.com]

Sending good wishes to you and your medical team; I hope you are feeling much better in the near future.

Interesting observation about being 13 then and now; and glad you and your friend are again friends. Peace and continued good wishes. :-)

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

Thank you :D

[schmecky.livejournal.com]

I think that's the upside of those events that make us grow up... Most of the time, we end up physically healthier, and less some emotional baggage as well.

Travel safe, good thoughts for the surgery.

And HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I'm sorry I missed it on the day!

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

Thank you :D

[kiwikat.livejournal.com]

You know, I wasn't really thinking about the surgery until the past few days and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't kinda 0_o about the whole thing. I read an article with photos, which freaked me out properly. When is the actual surgery date?

I mentioned to Jacqui earlier I'm going to try to get a cd together so you can have new stuff on your ipod for the ride out (if you want. I don't wanna force music on the unwilling).

Making my amends was one of those things I knew I needed to do and put off for way too long. Now I'm kicking myself for waiting so long, but eh. you're not ready until you're ready.

As for contacting old friends, I've since contacted two people who I stopped being friends with and apologized for the occassions on which I've been a dick. It's very freeing. Even if they never forgive me, I at least fulfilled my end of the be-a-good-person obligations.

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I posted several articles in my posts about it, plus one with video, which I haven't been able to watch yet :P

That's the good thing - when you put the ball in their court, they get to decide what to do next. It's no longer your responsibility.

[kiwikat.livejournal.com]

I can never watch that kind of thing, I'd be such a shitty surgeon.

[echoardi.livejournal.com]

happy birthday ethan :>

and good luck with the travels, surgery and so forth.

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

Thank you, on all fronts!

[katachthonios.livejournal.com]

Best of luck, certainly.

I ought to see if there's an acupuncture school with student clinic in your vicinity; I'm finding the needles to very helpful, but I'm not willing to pay $80 for an hour's work.

Not only have the video games gotten better, but IMHO the SFX for zombie films has also blossomed nicely.

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

I know my school as a massage clinic cuz I would get free massages last semester when they needed bodies to practice on. I should ask if they have acupuncture.

Technology is making my childhood seem low-tech!

[katachthonios.livejournal.com]

They have Xboxes an Wiis. We had Ataris and 8-bit Nintendos.

[helpimarock.livejournal.com]

Hey, man, I just wanted to stop in real quick and wish you (and Ethan!) happy birthday and wish you the best of luck with the surgery. I actually have the fullest confidence that you'll be fine, but giving a little extra luck can't hurt! :)

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

Thank you on all counts :D Your confidence and positivity are excellent. Gratzi!

[symwyse.livejournal.com]

I keep thinking maybe I should drop an email or whatnot to other people in my past, whether they deserve it or not. Just to apologize for the wrong-doings on my end.

If this is something that you have yet to do, I wish you the best of luck and hope that this is something that will resonate positively.

[anima.livejournal.com]

I am thinking of you and hoping that your surgery goes well.