jackshoegazer | This is nothing but gotcha-journalism.

A big thank you to all the people who commented to my last post and those who didn't and just thought good things. Apparently your no-hospital, everything's-okay vibes worked because I had vascular ultrasounds and and echocardiogram and chest x-rays and they say everything is great and flowing the way it should. My doctor says I should be patient and that my symptoms might never go fully away and that my pleural effusion probably set back my recovery time a bit. Apparently I'm pretty much fine. I go back in January for another check-up.

Three weeks of my semester left. Over the Thanksgiving holiday weekend, I need to write a paper for abnormal psychology. It has to be a personal essay-sort of paper relating what we've learned in class to our own mental health. I think I'm going to have some fun with this one. I'm going to use the rubric for diagnosing schizophrenia to interpret my affinity for synchronicity, telelogical revelations, and cosmological theophanies. There is going to be some fun, circular logic to play with since some of the major aspects of Jung's psychological model are based on case studies of schizophrenics. I'll work in some shamanism and mystics, as well as other methods of alterring consciousness and self-transcendence, replete with psychomimetic drugs. The real trouble will be keeping it down to only five pages.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving here in America. I am of multiple minds on this holiday. The origins we are taught of this holiday are untruthful myths and the reality of the European's arrival on this continent is nothing but much ugliness. However, it has become a ritual for people to get together with their families and reconnect and celebrate everything they are thankful for, how blessed they are. So, how does one rectify the two views? How does one celebrate a day that is so inextricably linked to massive horror? Everything that I am thankful for, right down to my life, is inextricably linked to the history of my ancestors in this land. How can one gain that kind of sociological distance from one's origins in order to contemplate such a question?

Everything is connected.