In a lake around noon I discoverd a tune that would set the whole world free.

[jackshoegazer]

My hair is the longest it's been since the winter of 1996.  I've been too lazy to get it cut and I'm kinda digging the shag.  It matches the beard quite nicely.  It almost makes me wish I never got LASIK surgery; I could get cool hipster frames and look like this guy.  You know, if the illustration had a beard, and I had an iPod.

I baked my first batch of cookies ever.  Technically they were Ethan's cookies, his gift to his mom for Mother's Day.  They were Ghirardelli chocolate chip, both semi-sweet and white chips.  Some of them were too small and malformed, but the majority were normal-looking and they all tasted excellent nonetheless.  Let this be a lesson to you: Don't judge a cookie by it's shape.

I'm starting to get anxious about the housewarming party next week.  Many of our attendees are fellow LJers and almost all of them I have not met in person.  There have been times in my life where I have been a social butterfly, however, the last few years, I've been much more selective and somehow this has translated into a bit of social anxiety.  I'm sure it will be fine and I will be my normal, charming, charismatic self.  But in the meantime, I think I'll worry I'm an idiot and have nothing to say and it will be a slow, awkward death.

In other news and other realms entirely, I wrote this as a comment in someone else's journal and liked it enough to replicate it here:

I think that's a common misconception. People, especially Buddhists reference "killing the ego" but the ego is the focus of consciousness, like the lens on a camera, the what the ego focuses on is our reality. Most people's egos are totally and rigidly focused on their selves, the little 'I' if you will. When we perform various consciousness-expanding exercises, be it meditation, psychedelics, ceremonial magick, yoga, tantra, etc... we learn to refocus our ego on larger and larger parts of ourselves. Thus it is not our ego that dies, but it's rigidity and narrow focus, leaving us not fractured or damaged, but fuller, more whole individuals.

So I guess that's about it for tonight.  Another week begins soon.  Another Monday.  Another alarm clock.  Morning traffic.  Breakfast cereal.  Phone calls. Lunch breaks.  Evening traffic.  Dinner.  You know the routine.

Thanks.

Comments

[cherry-divinity.livejournal.com]

Let this be a lesson to you: Don't judge a cookie by it's shape.

oh man..isn't that the truth! :) Baking cookies sounds so good right now. damn you. ;)

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

They were soooo good. Ghirardelli is the best :)

[antarcticlust.livejournal.com]

Awww, my poor nervous Love. It's ok, I'm nervous, too, but I'm also excited. I just don't want this to be too much of a source of anxiety for you. No worries- these people have never met one another either, so there's an equal power dynamic - just keep that in mind.

Your little list of traditional suburban life at the end there made me a little sad...I hope that's not how you feel - that now that we've moved in together your life is not as inconventional and is therefore more boring. Somehow I'm finding comfort in these patterns and the little domestic game we're playing. We're in on the joke, darling.

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

My life can never be conventional, not by choice, but even my most mundane choices seem odd. Even in high school, I was by far from the first person to dye their hair, but when I did it, ti was a bigger deal than when anyone else did it. People freak out when they find out I'm a dad; they can't reconcile that I read both Tom Robbins and Winston Churchill's History of the English Speaking People; people are confused and amazed at my decision to work both thrids and first shift. No matter what I do, it seems unconventional and I think it's just my personality.

What joke?

[antarcticlust.livejournal.com]

The joke of the domestic game; we don't take it seriously in the same way that other people do. Because of our unconventional lives, our domestic drivings are equally inconventional.

And you don't have to defend yourself to me. I know who you are. You forget: I'm the valedictorian high school dropout!

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

YAY for CONTRADICTIONS!

[rejectcarp.livejournal.com]

you're brave. i don't know if i could meet people from the internet.

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

These are people who've been very close for a long time, journal-wise, so it won't be too bad. In a lot of ways, they don't seem like people I haven't met before.

Normally, I'd totally agree with you. Random people - no way. People I've been conversing with and sharing our lives with for a couple years - not so bad :)

[kiwikat.livejournal.com]

as soon as we were moved in susie baked cookies in our oven to christen it (and because she had a banquet to go to the next day and said she'd bring cookies). so good.

you'll do just fine at the party. everyone loves them some germy.

i'm excited for the party!

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

I suppose. I keep thinking I'm boring and have nothing to say.

[kiwikat.livejournal.com]

if that's the case i'll be your wingman and tell awesome stories about you so people can go "REALLY JEREMY DID YOU REALLY SLAY 17 DRAGONS WITH YOUR BARE HANDS!?!?!?" and you can add corroborating details and everyone will be very very impressed.

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

That's a great idea. Or I'll hide in my bedroom, under the bed :P

[kiwikat.livejournal.com]

i always forget that you can be shy.

i promise i'll talk with you in a corner if everyone gets too scary, or i can give you smokies and make you loosen up or something.

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

I can be but I won't admit it in public or let anyone think that's possible. I'll be arrogant and condescending before I'm shy ;)

See you tonight! Don't worry about the evening thing. People will be coming and going all day and some of the long-drivers might stay the night, so there will totally be people here. Besides me of course :P

beardcore

[lurkula.livejournal.com]

I too was once a member....
http://www.geocities.com/erikeltic/bearded.jpg

But Chris Dix said I looked like a whaler.

Re: beardcore

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

I remember that! You posted about it, asking which was better and we had a lovely discussion about it :) (Oh shit, that was the picture that I thought made you look like Peck from Ghostbusters! Now I don't see it as much ;)

Re: beardcore

[lurkula.livejournal.com]

Oh right... if I remember, that's when you and I became LJ friends...

may I ~please~ see the storage facility?

Re: beardcore

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

God, that's right! How the memories come flooding back!