Ta-Dah!

Sep. 15th, 2004 05:35 pm
jackshoegazer: (Default)
Ok everyone, you can stop applauding now, thank you, thank you.
I completed my 72 hours of fasting, abstinence, and meditation. I lost 9 pounds, but no great spiritual revelations to report, but I did learn quite a bit about the relationship between the mind and the body. And let me tell you this: The Body is a Stubborn Bitch. It wants what it wants and if wants it NOW! No, not in 72 hours. It wants it NOW GOD DAMMIT! But now we know who is the Boss. No, it has nothing to do with Tony Danza and Judith Light. My friend Maya told me that if I can do this, then I can do anything. I certainly hope she's right. And I must have done something 'remarkable' because everyone I've talked to has said they could never abstain from everything for 72 hours. I had one guy tell me he thought only women fasted. What the fuck does that mean? and then he goes, "Is that some sort of Buddhist thing?"
jackshoegazer: (Default)
I am now 52 hours into my Cleansing Ritual. For some reason I woke up this evening with a massive cloud of cynicism down pouring around me. Almost anything having to do with the deeper more spiritual aspect of life makes me chortle and say "Yeah, Right" is a condescendingly dismissive voice. At the moment I see no light at the end of the tunnel, no silver lining to my clouds, no dawn for the dark night of my soul.
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It's the morning and I have not eaten in 30ish hours. I am starving. I am fully aware of how much the body can influence thought. It's ridiculous. Everytime I see something that even reminds me of food, I can feel my stomach reach up and throttle my brain, grab control of my movement functions and try to reach my hand out to grab the suspected food item and shove it down my gullet. I feel very light, not as in weight, but as in attachment to my body right now. My whole body has a sort of fuzzy buzzing going on about it, almost as if my 'aura' had suddenly kicked up a notch. I'm feeling oddly creative and ostensibly tired. I'm about the run the wee lad to school, and after that take a nice long vacation to SleepyTime DreamLand, lest I succumb to the temptation of food. Of course my roommate chooses yesterday to do shopping, so there's a fridge and pantry just full of yummy morsels. Fuck.
jackshoegazer: (Default)

Good Morning everyone. Only the anorexic can understand how hungry I am right now. I had some tea and lots of water in the last 24 hours and that's about it. Does tea count as food? I used honey. Is that bad? I don't think so. But now, I'm almost bored. There is a ton of things I could do, but none of them seem remotely appealing. Maybe I'll go shopping. Oh, but there's no where to go. Why isn't there a 24 hour Walmart in this hellhole?? Not that I should be shopping at that evil place, but what else are you supposed to do when you suddenly have the urge to buy rubber cement in the middle of the night??!

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jackshoegazer

February 2012

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