Just let your geeky, surreal fingers do the talking.

[jackshoegazer]

Now, I realize that I am officially the Last Person on Earth without a cell phone. Seriously, I've seen starving Sally Struthers kids texting each other, "omg im so hngry n these flies r annoyng grrr" I think I'm getting to the point where I'm willing to concede that yes, I could use a cell phone, and I've often, much to my own empuzzlement, heard myself professing that every living human should have a cell phone.

With that bit of prefacing on my cell phone views, I hereby present the Geekiest Thing Ever.

THE PORTABLE ROTARY PHONE

All you have to do is open the phone, insert your SIM card, and turn the unit on. The unit will utilize your phone number and account minutes. Phone can dial out using the rotary and will ring with the original metal bells with an incoming call.

The surrealist in me wants to get one of these SO badly. Imagine the absurdity, the absolute Dalishness of driving down the road with an old rotary on your dash, having other drivers stare awkwardly as they pass you. Imagine the odd, dreamlike confusion in the eyes of friends who hear that old skewl metal ringtone and see me pull this big black old rotary out of my record bag/man purse and just start talking like there's not a single thing out of the ordinary.

I haven't been this in love with a piece of technology since, well, since ever. I can't think of another technological oddity that has offered to provide me with such reality-bending potential. Unless someone comes along and invents the cell phone/toaster combo. Or maybe a Playdoh Fun Factory Engagement Ring. Ooh, or Ginsu shoelaces. And who could forget the glasses-mounted device that projects your computer monitor screen right onto your retina. Oh yeah, that last one is real.

Comments

[sophiaserpentia.livejournal.com]

That. Is. Fucking. Beautiful.

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

Ain't it, darlin', ain't it?

[sacredchao23.livejournal.com]

I am also one of the few human beings on the planet without a cell phone. I have sworn that I will never have a cell phone while secretly realizng that I in fact will more than likely have one someday. Dear gods if I must get a cell phone it should be this one. Even if it isn't at all practicle.

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

The less one makes difinitive statements, the less one is likely to look like a fool in retrospect.

Hence, while I may put off getting a cell, and even speak of their annoyances and terrors, I will mot likely own one, and probably view it like the microwave and the internet and wonder how I ever lived in a time without them.

[sacredchao23.livejournal.com]

You see I've just come to believe that looking like a fool is a large part of the human condition and I'm okay with that.

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

I act the fool quite enough without adding difinitive statements into the mix.

[lady-saffir.livejournal.com]

Imagine the look on a child's face if you handed them that phone to make a call, they might not even know how to use it!

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

Haha! I didn't even think about it! OOh, or a stranded motorist asks if you have a cell phone and you hand him/her that!!

[tecknovore.livejournal.com]

Hey I thought I was the last person without a cell phone. I don't want people to be able to bother me wherever I'm at. I like my anonymity. That rotary cell is the L337 shit though.

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

See, you can always turn the phone OFF if you don't want to be bothered. :)

[tecknovore.livejournal.com]

I don't know anyone who turns their phone off. They're always going off at inopportune times. And now that they're pushing TV through cell phones, I'm sure you can project the long term deleterious effects this will have on the mass of humanity. Constant saturation with words, with no time for your mind to quiet and experience what is. Or maybe I'm just a luddite.

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

I think the long term effects of trying to be a spiritual, reflective person amidst this age of cacaphony will be that in order to achieve said results of enlightenment and transcendence, one must learn to be the calm in the eye of the storm, rather than be caught in and distracted by the storm. We must be the calm centers, the quiet minds.

[redwitchesbrew.livejournal.com]

I have to admit, that rotary cell is a cute ideal. Great for surrealists.

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

Yummy! So, so YUMMY!

[gutzilla.livejournal.com]

I want it. Expensive though.

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

No doubt. I was all for it till I saw the price. Now I'll have to wait till I'm a rich surrealist before I can mess with the masses :(

[kiwikat.livejournal.com]

i don't have, nor have ever owned, a cellular phone.

i need that phone and i'm willing to run over people to get it.

[3starsinmyeyes.livejournal.com]

i think this might be the best idea you have ever had... and i haven't known you that long!

[gutzilla.livejournal.com]

I just saw this:

http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/electronic/7830/

An affordable alternative!