From: Get Your War On

[jackshoegazer]

In honor of Earth Day, I present these eco-jokes.

1. What is Mother Nature’s favorite food?      RECYCLED GARBAGE.

2. What did the endangered species say to the Exxon executive who was telling jokes?     STOP, YOU’RE KILLING ME.

3. Why did the chicken cross the road?     TO ESCAPE THE HORRIBLE CONDITIONS AT THE TYSON FOODS PROCESSING PLANT.

4. What did Global Warming say to James Inhofe?     “IT’S TRULY INSANE THAT YOU DON’T BELIEVE IN ME.”

5. What’s the difference between the fossil-fuel industry and an unstoppable plague of flesh-eating bacteria?    NOT MUCH, REALLY, WHEN YOU CONSIDER THE LONG-TERM IMPACT OF BOTH.

Comments

[lucidpseudogod.livejournal.com]

Can you draw? Make Art? I think you're an artistic entity, right?
okay, here's what I need/want that would solve these problems.

here's the idea

A__________________________________B

A is now
B is when common sense gets here

__________________________________
is the quicksand of -Robert's Rules of Order-

a British Parliamentary work of proper manners which manages to Hog-Stall
anything sensible ad infinitum

the only way to drive out corporate government is with the motto
a picture is worth a thousand words.

our elected officials are no longer doing what we elect them to do,
they're avoiding work and having orgies with corporate demons in swimming pools of bribe money

....like they should be....

okay, compassion time, all this bribery and corporate greed is making our corrupticons out of shape and they are running out of harvested homeless colombian children's organs to transplant every pesky time they get a cancer of some sort.

How can we help our elected officials onto a chain gang field trip to learn how filling potholes cures depression and straightens spines.

Just so you know that I am a good sport, (I almost wrote spork, I am a good spork, pronk) I will put up pictures of my attempts at drawing

[jeffinreallife.livejournal.com]

"Flesh eating bacteria" is actually a misnomer.
necrotising fasciitis is caused by otherwise relatively-harmless Staphylococcus Aureus, or Group-A Streptococcus taking advantage of an immunocompromised host. The bacteria don't actually eat flesh, the toxins they produce just cause a lot of tissue damage.

But, I really like the second joke.

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

Thanks for that. I am much less paranoid about flesh-eating bacteria now!

[jeffinreallife.livejournal.com]

It's the flesh eating monkeys that should be keeping you up at night.

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

They already do! I wake up every time they bite me!

[marie-paris.livejournal.com]

funnea!!!!