jackshoegazer | Never let pain harden your heart.

The main scar from my surgery has finally healed. Tests done while I was in for my pleural effusion show that the bypass is functioning properly. Additional bonus, my snoring has miraculously vanished (too much blood flooding the vascular system, pinching off sinus cavities, the lungs and whatnot, now all fixed!) Minus the pain and complications, this surgery has been great and very freeing. You don't quite realize how much something is crushing your spirit until it has been lifted.

Below the cut is a scan I did of a printout I got from my doctor of my heart both before and after the surgery. You can see the superior vena cava in the upper left of the heart. It looks sort of rigid and unhealthy because of the non-functioning stent that's in there. In the After picture, you can see the bypass - a vein from my leg that was split and wound into a thick spiral to handle the massive bloodflow that the SVC is supposed to handle. Also, there is a photo of me today, just before my shower, showing off my massive scar. I've never been embarrassed of my scars. I am proud of them. I don't know if I quite understand this. Conquering death? Vanquishing enemies? Strength through tragedy? A shield of suffering? A sign of triumph? I don''t know, but sometimes I feel like I shine with the pride of them.