Shut your mouth when you're talking to me.

[jackshoegazer]

In sociology this morning we were talking about social interactions and the subtle yet very important rules that govern them and the powerful reactions we get when we break them.  We were told to go break some social convention on Tuesday and be ready to talk about it today.  Because of the foot-or-so of snow that fell from the sky yesterday in one solid blob, I never left the house and therefore did not get to be weird in public.  Luckily, I spent most of my teen years being weird in public, purposely breaking social conventions for fun and curiosity.

One girl brushed her teeth at school and got a laugh and a lot of disgusted looks.  Another wore shorts and a tank top in this arctic Wisconsin weather.  One guy ignored his cab driver's prompts for questions.  Another woman spent the day repeating everything anyone said to her.  A grocery store cashier said "Would you like paper or plastic?" to which she replied "Would you like paper or plastic?" and he said, "I just asked you that." to which she replied, "I just asked you that."

I grew up in a small town so it was really easy to be weird in public.  Growing up, "fag" was the most common insult and I wore dresses occasionally just to push the homophobe's buttons.  For a while I wore a top hat and carried a cane.  I dyed my hair strange colors - people even freaked out when I dyed it black, a fairly natural color.  I gave impromptu public performances, like the time my friend Brian and I stood outside the Eagle's Ballroom in Milwaukee after an Oasis concert.  Brian stood on one side of the exit shaking everyone's hand as the left, thanking them for coming to the show, while I huddled in my grungy coat and asked for money for smack.  Actually, Brian and I used to a lot of these things - giving surrealist poetry recitals on street corners, staging fake muggings and car-jackings, running through late-night tennis games in July dressed in Halloween costumes - you know, that sort of thing.

Once, in a diner, a friend and I were having a conversation about desserts and he said he hated cheesecake.  I had never met anyone who didn't like cheesecake before.  He said that most people don't like it, that I was in the minority.  I couldn't believe it, so I stood up in my booth and got the attention of the entire restaurant and took a poll.  "Excuse me, dear patrons of this fine eatery!  I am conducting an impromptu scientific poll.  Raise your hand if you enjoy cheesecake!  And now... raise your hand if you do not enjoy cheesecake.  Okay, thank you.  As you were."  I was surprised - the majority, about 70% did not enjoy cheesecake.

Even though I was stuck in the igloo I call my home, I was still able to contribute quite a bit and was interviewed about my interactions with people driving cab, "Bartender Syndrome" and whatnot.  I almost mentioned jackstaxi (in which I just made a post) but in a round about sort of way, when the instructor asked me if a lot of cab drivers were writers.  I turned a little red at first, while telling the diner story, but quickly got myself under control and talked fairly eloquently.  I'm feeling more confident about my public speaking issues.  Sometimes I wonder what happened to that crazy kid who did all that weird shit and how I learned to be so damned socially intimidated.

Okay, thank you.  As you were.

Comments

[irnbruise.livejournal.com]

I'm only now getting out of a five year ban on talking in school. I don't know what happened, but I hate talking in front of people. I'm glad the fear and anxiety are going away, for the most part.

You sound like a lot of fun to hang out with!

[anubis75.livejournal.com]

What a great exercise! If my sociolgy professor had been nearly as inventive as yours I might've enjoyed the class more and not developed such a bad taste in my mouth for the discilpine.

I was surprised - the majority, about 70% did not enjoy cheesecake.

I think that's a fluke. You must've been at that eatery when there was a lactose intolerant peoples' convention going on at the hotel down the road. Most people I've encountered like cheesecake.

[ladytinkerbelle.livejournal.com]

to agree with someone who commented here before me, you do sound like an awful lot of fun to hang out with, and i am again saddened that i only know you through the web. however, i understand where you're coming from in this post, as i was much like you when i was in high school and college. somewhere along the lines, though, i lost that part of me. i've been slowly gathering her back, singing along with the music in the grocery store, dancing around for no reason, but it's just not the same as when i was a teen going into my early 20s (i'm now 25). your sociology class sounds like a lot more fun than mine was, but then again, i stirred the pot and it was hard to get my classmates caught up in it.

[tobiedammit.livejournal.com]

I think when you are in your teens you don't really care what others think of you. When you get older and have to work or are forced to mature in some aspects of your life, you become more concerned with your self-image. I was the same way. I can't believe how self-conscious I am now. In high school and college I couldn't give a rat's ass what people thought of me. Now, I'm overly sensitive to it.

[abmann.livejournal.com]

I am the exact opposite. I was overly self-conscious in my teens. Now, I don't give a damn what people think about me most of the time.

[schmecky.livejournal.com]

I agree-ish with the comment before me... Now thatI'm an adult, I feel it's a bit selfish to interrupt everyone else's trajectory just to draw a bunch of attention to myself, even if my intentions are good (or at least creative.)

[abmann.livejournal.com]

There's something weird about brushing your teeth at school?

[decemberthirty.livejournal.com]

Sometimes I wonder what happened to that crazy kid who did all that weird shit and how I learned to be so damned socially intimidated.

This is such a familiar sentiment to me. A little while ago, in the process of writing a story set in a high school, I dug into my box of high school memorabilia and read a bunch of the notes and letters and things that I had exchanged with my friends--being reminded of what I was like back then was amazing. It's like I'm a whole different person from the bold and unintimidated girl that I was... What has adult life done to us?

[holographia.livejournal.com]

i for one HATE cheesecake!

[skullptures.livejournal.com]

seconded! haha

[hetrez.livejournal.com]

I grew up in a small town, and I was so different anyway (token Jew, token queer, just oddly different through some accident of birth) that I tried as hard as I could not to be weirder. I admire people who don't mind being looked at. Now that I'm older, I am very good at fitting in.

[bitches-tyrone.livejournal.com]

I was a bit of a crazy kid too. Back then there's all those cliques and groups and such, perhaps more apparent differences (even if they're all based on identity [minus the freaks, who sometimes just gather and don't try for that])? And once out of high school those disappear and then everybody's just a person. Then, instead of sticking out with your group of friends, you just stick out more, as everybody else seems more homogeneous. Or maybe it's the getting of a more serious job. Or lecture halls in which you're silenced.

As for cheesecake? Love it. I have heard many claim a feeling of guilt about it, and it may be that strangers are less likely to confess guilt to one they don't know (particularly so in public).

[sophy.livejournal.com]

I used to be all about breaking the social conventions in my teens, too. And it's not so much that I care about keeping those conventions now - it's just that breaking them on purpose for no other reason has lost it's novelty. Now I just break them on accident because the way I happen to want to live my life involves breaking them - but I do it a lot more subtly now than I did back in the day.

[girlthirteen.livejournal.com]

aw! i wish we grew up in the same town! we used to take over a small corner of an upscale mall elevator and play boardgames like monopoly going up and down, picking up people. "evening sir, what floor?" "i'll take baltic avenue, that's floor two macy's. have a good evening sir." i used to let the denny's waitresses take a cigarette break and would refill customer's coffee cups and chitchat in my black goth ballgowns. now i can barely speak complete sentences in a group of strangers over five people. it's befuddling!