It's not very coherent but it's true and uncensored.

[jackshoegazer]

I was listening to my iPod today and Bright Eyes came on and I heard the line, You should never be embarrassed by your trouble with living/Because it is the ones with the sorest throats who have done the most singing.  That, coupled with a few lines from a different song, Boys keep strumming those guitars/We need a record of our failures/Yes, we must document our love made me realize that I still have to write no matter what, that it can't be perfect, it will never be perfect and that I must keep going and working, document my attempts, my failures, my troubles, because that is what is alive, that is what is worth recording, jotting down, sharing with the world.

After that, Outkast's Hey Ya played and I was thinking about the line, If what they say is "Nothing is forever"/Then what makes love the exception?  I was feeling terribly philosophical and was thinking about how it seems to be the duty of humans to try and manifest archetypes, to try and bring these perfect ideals into a flawed world.  Try as we might, bringing love into the world is quite difficult, and most people seem to be quite bad at it and so often it ends up as hate.  See, that's how bad we are at it.  Some argue that these emotions and ideals are abstractions but I'm more tempted to say we are the abstractions.

On a mundane note, I'm going back to school next week.  I'll be taking Intro to Psychology and Intro to Drama.  Yes, only six credits, but I want to start a bit slow since I'll still be working almost-full-time and Ethan will be back for seventh grade and Jacquelyn will be starting her PhD coursework.  Egads, all three of us in school at once.  I have to register sooner next semester so I can get my English prerequisite done and then take creative writing and all the other writing-related classes I want.  I also found out I have to take a p.e. credit so I thnk that means I'll have to take a yoga class, or maybe I'll go all hardcore and take badminton.

Tomorrow, I have to take Ethan to get registered for school and then work in the afternoon.  Jacquelyn is leaving for a few days to go scan some lake cores in Minnesota in a lab eight floors underground.  Last week I bicycled ninety miles.  Because of the crazy rain, I've only done fifteen this week.  Bastard rain.  Storms are lovely and I love the rain, but when it interferes with my bicycle riding... let's just say the rain won't like me when I'm angry.  Oh, and I've officially lost five pounds after riding my bike for something like ten weeks.

On a final note, a guy in my cab told me a long and involved story about his "booty hole."  That story and more, coming soon to a jackstaxi near you.

Comments

[gutzilla.livejournal.com]

Cool.

[brdgt.livejournal.com]

I did ballet and "Stress Reduction" (giving each other back rubs every week). One school I applied to (Bryn Mawr) didn't have a p.e. requirement but you had to pass a swimming test to graduate?!

[at-the-stars.livejournal.com]

This is probably neither the time nor the place to admit I don't yet own a bike and haven't in...eleven? years.

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

Until this summer, I hadn't owned a bike in 15 years.

Bike!?

[interrogobang.livejournal.com]

Schmike!?

I bus, walk, and fly.

Bike.. what. ever.
I'd rather run.

hehe
No, not really. ;)

[---four.livejournal.com]

documenting failures only serves the purpose of further elevating the successes.

[in my humble experience]

Ah ... driving force.

[interrogobang.livejournal.com]

In a world made of multiple fractalized energy patterns .. some of which we can recognize as aware.. the human construct needs motivation. Direction, and various other forms of -tion.

Me? I need assistance. "Advice" "Perspective" "A mirror to reflect my divinations" etc and, You sir! Have a sheen I am looking for.

Ref. My journal for a post dedicated to yourself.

if you shea show .com!

:smirk: Ganesha eh? Word.

Re: Ah ... driving force.

[protodisco.livejournal.com]

you look like alan cumming. at least in your icon.

[choogy.livejournal.com]

"on a mundane note" - you crack me up. going back to school is HUGE and you should totally get some props for that. you're doing something new and brave and a what a turnaround from a year ago or so, huh?

i think it will be neat for ethan to see you in school. i wish we lived closer because today i would love to take you to lunch to celebrate and then pick your brain about 12 year old boys.

also, i can't believe you guys have a PE req. that is effing funny. badminton FTW fool!!!! (we should bring our set next time!)

[zegenta.livejournal.com]

I was listening to recordings of Buk reading his poetry and was thinking the same thing.

Good luck with school. :)

[maeghanne.livejournal.com]

Meet Obadiah Parker

[dakinigrl.livejournal.com]

wow cool, we listen to some of the same music. and my brain is pretty much as randomly philosophical as yours. I remember when I was dating this guy once and I woke up and asked him first thing in the morning... "do you believe in hell?"... and he was like... "omg it's the morning!! don't you ever give it a rest??" heh. yeah, that relationship didn't last. ah ha ha ha ha ha.

at least the rain isn't drowning you while you sleep. i'm just sayin.

somehow, I don't want a job wherein random people tell me about their "booty hole". ; /

[helpimarock.livejournal.com]

Hey, congrats on getting back in school, I hope it's working out. I think six credits is pretty damn admirable with a job and a kid.

What you said about writing also resonated with me. I just read something really similar last night regarding the drafting process. And I really need to hear this right now b/c I'm trying to jump-start my writing self after being stuck in a place where I can only tolerate perfection or near-perfection on the first try.

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

Back in 2001, I was taking 12 credits, working two jobs, taking a weekly yoga class, and still raising Ethan. Needless to say, I barely slept and pretty much burned myself out. Now I'm taking a much more relaxed view :)

I'm hoping school, forcing me to write, will get the juices flowing. I realized yesterday that I haven't really written anything in a very long time and considering myself a writer, that's a very bad thing.

Just write. I picture it like trying to break through a dam. At first it will be nothing but ugly dust and dents in the surface but eventually we can chip away enough to get some real water flowing out and eventually the dam will burst and carry us away to literary heaven. Or something like that.