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Happy Father's Day.
I had another Barack Obama dream last night. We met over a game of chess and had a nice long talk about how things have been going and the difficulties he's been having. He was especially stressed and troubled over having to kowtow to the free-market system. He seemed very upset about having to compromise as much as he has, even though his style is ruthless pragmatism. I left him with a book and some websites to visit and moved on.
I'd like to imagine that at night, he's astral-travelling and that I'm not just having imaginary political conversations in my dreams.
My friend John, the one who cut off all contact with me a couple years ago without warning or explanation, emailed me last week with basically "Hi?" and that was it. I emailed him back and said he owes me more than that. I still haven't heard back from him. I'm not putting up with these abusive shenanigans again. If he can't deal with me on an adult level and own his shit, then I'm not interested. Don't get me wrong, I love the guy and he was one of the best friends I've ever had.
However, my father was distant and abusive when I was growing up and when John got angry, he would be verbally abusive and then he would disappear for a while. Eventually he would come back and just expect everything to be fine - and it was - because I was just happy to have my friend back. I was like a little puppy who kept wandering back hoping to get petted instead of kicked.
I don't need that anymore. I think it was the road trip out to Salt Lake City with my dad last summer. We had four days in the car with nothing to do but talk and talk we did. We hashed out just about everything, my whole history, my early life, his early life, everything that happened, and I feel like I've walked away with those issues clear. I've never felt closer to my dad and I really understand why my father was the way he was and that allows me to forgive. Which is like a weight off my shoulders, like a cage taken off my heart, a spiritual glass ceiling broken.
So John, if you're looking for someone to take your shit and unconditionally validate you, you may want to look elsewhere. But, and this is my sincere hope, you want to rekindle a rewarding friendship, step up and say so. If not, good luck, because I don't need that shit in my life.
So Happy Father's Day, dear readers. Perhaps it is because it is the summer solstice - the day with the most light - that I am feeling particularly clear and focused. It is a good feeling, to see.
I had another Barack Obama dream last night. We met over a game of chess and had a nice long talk about how things have been going and the difficulties he's been having. He was especially stressed and troubled over having to kowtow to the free-market system. He seemed very upset about having to compromise as much as he has, even though his style is ruthless pragmatism. I left him with a book and some websites to visit and moved on.
I'd like to imagine that at night, he's astral-travelling and that I'm not just having imaginary political conversations in my dreams.
My friend John, the one who cut off all contact with me a couple years ago without warning or explanation, emailed me last week with basically "Hi?" and that was it. I emailed him back and said he owes me more than that. I still haven't heard back from him. I'm not putting up with these abusive shenanigans again. If he can't deal with me on an adult level and own his shit, then I'm not interested. Don't get me wrong, I love the guy and he was one of the best friends I've ever had.
However, my father was distant and abusive when I was growing up and when John got angry, he would be verbally abusive and then he would disappear for a while. Eventually he would come back and just expect everything to be fine - and it was - because I was just happy to have my friend back. I was like a little puppy who kept wandering back hoping to get petted instead of kicked.
I don't need that anymore. I think it was the road trip out to Salt Lake City with my dad last summer. We had four days in the car with nothing to do but talk and talk we did. We hashed out just about everything, my whole history, my early life, his early life, everything that happened, and I feel like I've walked away with those issues clear. I've never felt closer to my dad and I really understand why my father was the way he was and that allows me to forgive. Which is like a weight off my shoulders, like a cage taken off my heart, a spiritual glass ceiling broken.
So John, if you're looking for someone to take your shit and unconditionally validate you, you may want to look elsewhere. But, and this is my sincere hope, you want to rekindle a rewarding friendship, step up and say so. If not, good luck, because I don't need that shit in my life.
So Happy Father's Day, dear readers. Perhaps it is because it is the summer solstice - the day with the most light - that I am feeling particularly clear and focused. It is a good feeling, to see.
