...in which I perform drug experiments on children.

[jackshoegazer]

The school called me at noon today to tell me Ethan had a headache. They asked if I could bring him something to soothe his pain. I checked the cabinets and alas, unless I wanted to give him 500mg sleepy-time migraine relief, I had nothing. So, I went to the school, talked to him, had him drink a bunch of water and take a vitamin C pill. He thinks it's Tylenol.

Now we see if the placebo worked.

Am I evil?

Also, an interesting note... his D.A.R.E. graduation is tonight.

***EDIT***
I just picked him up and it worked! After about a half hour, no headache whatsoever!

Comments

[moonshinekat.livejournal.com]

wow back in the day they just asked if it was ok for us to take tylenol....gotta love liability suits

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

Yup, I asked them and they were all "Noooo.. we don' thave any for students."

[moonshinekat.livejournal.com]

yeah the crack pipe is reserved for faculty only

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

It's just the lighters actually. We can't have the kiddies burning themselves.

[tellme-too.livejournal.com]

ouch!
did it work then?

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

Yes it did! I just picked him up and it worked. So then we had a nice long talk about the placebo effect and the power of the mind. And dehydration headaches.

[tellme-too.livejournal.com]

i can't believe you told him!
he'll never trust you again
;)

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

He trusts me. He was amazed about it.

If the Santa Claus/Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy thing didn't completely destroy his trust in me, a placebo won't either.

Though, after he figured out the fairy-tale thing, he coined his very own catch phrase, which he uses whenever he discovers something new... "EVERYTHING I KNOW IS A LIE!"

[sarahdipity418.livejournal.com]

Oh man. I LOVE it. I just love the power of the mind. Please let me know how it worked out for him when you know.

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

Half hour later, no headache!

minds rock!

[sarahdipity418.livejournal.com]

Oh yes. All hail the power of the mind!

[saditymaus.livejournal.com]

If the placebo works, THEN you are evil. At which point you must start making plans to take over the world with your mind-altering powers. :-p

Nah, I think my mom did that to me all the time.

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

I guess i'm evil!

BWAHHHAHHHAAA!

[antarcticlust.livejournal.com]

I think it's a great idea, because a)water and vitamin c are good for you, and he might just have needed water, b)the mind is a powerful healing tool, and he's still a kid and doesn't need a bunch of nasty harshness in his system, and acetominophen isn't good for the liver, and c)Ethan seems to get headaches and stomachaches often, and if, as you hypothesize, these are psychosomatic, then a psychosomatic cure should be all it takes.

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

And it worked. He doesn't drink enough water, so I figured that was the issue.

[antarcticlust.livejournal.com]

Plus it's been warmer lately, so he might have exerted himself too much during recess or something, gotten dehydrated.

[mananath.livejournal.com]

wait a second. the school NURSE couldn't just give him some tylenol? sheesh. Good thing he didn't have a flesh wound.

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

I don't think the schools are even allowed to touch the kids anymore, let alone give them anything. I'm surprised they're allowed to feed them.

[mananath.livejournal.com]

man, why bother hiring nurses at all? Clearly we will all be better off if the schools simply provided each child a computer and the kids can all telecommute. hmm unless the computer blows up... sigh. we live in strange times.

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

Hell, I spent my grade school years in southern Indiana, and they could still beat you with a paddle or belt when you misbehaved.

Somethings got bettter, some weird, some worse.

It's like that Chinese proverb, "May you live in interesting times."

[kiwikat.livejournal.com]

may you live in interesting times isn't a proverb, it's an old curse.

it's worse than saying "may the fleas of 1000 camels infest your armpits"

[gutzilla.livejournal.com]

You look like the cover of that Iron & Wine album. Uh, just so you know.

[wwonka666.livejournal.com]

I've had my drug issues in the past and I can honestly trace my use back to a DARE program i went to. just and interesting side note

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

Oh, I've already began the subtle process of undermining that entire program of irrational fear.

[kiwikat.livejournal.com]

that's quite amusing.

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

Thanks dearie!

[kiwikat.livejournal.com]

no problem sugarpie!

[anima.livejournal.com]

In the course I took on drugs I was informed that Tylenol is the doctor's placebo. So if that's true, you replaced a placebo with a placebo. It's possible. :)

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

Egads, how novel!

[gutzilla.livejournal.com]

Excellent work, Doctor Strange.

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

Thank you, Professor Cartoon.

[cowabunga-tmnt.livejournal.com]

The first short period that i smoked cigarettes was 6th grade, the year of my D.A.R.E. graduation... as for that ceremony thing i was sitting next to someone who, as each person would walk acropss the stage, was telling me who did what sort of drugs. it was rather anusing.