Ah, now this is more like it...

[jackshoegazer]

Oh Great Cthulhu!

I have been an extremely industrious devotee this year.

In January, I fed drevius to a Shoggoth (250 points). Last week, I rammed a ship into you (sorry Cthulhu!) (-1000 points). In June, I called down the wrath of Yog-Sothoth upon valkyerie (65 points). In October, I legally changed my name to Randolph Carter (-40 points). When the stars were right, I defiled the grave of that traitor, Lovecraft (90 points). In August, I bombed a cultist gathering (-100 points).

In short, I have been very bad (-735 points) and deserve to have my body used as a host for one of your servitors.

Your humble and obedient servant,
fnord777

Submit your own plea to Cthulhu!