Can it be spoon-fed?

[jackshoegazer]

I want to use parenthesis
(to whisper a vision.)

I find that if I stop and listen for a spell,
I'll hear the hum of some magician
casting in my ear.

(And dancing twilight will erupt from my toes,
distancing myself from my great poetic woes.)

But the key is not to find
this audience of yours;
it's quite the simple matter
of sparks that ignite.

(And something real will burst from my pen,
through the fingers and keys typing again.)

I cannot speak with words I am given,
because they say one cannot listen
to the answer.

(Shhhhh...)


©2005 JJP

Comments

[omnedai.livejournal.com]

i can stack the thoughts end to end
(like Legos, on the sides, y'know)
(they follow fine, they make a line)
but square on top more i intend.

to keep with natural, pure thought
(belong to me, are spawned from me)
(not selling out, without a doubt)
often conflicts with what i'm taught.

i wonder what the reader sees
(you're so confused, uh-oh you lose)
(that makes no sense, just ignorance)
god damn it, words are enemies!

the syntax hinders and it breaks
(no more rules, laws for fools)
(break a mold, solid gold)
mental oceans turned to lakes.

whittles down a great idea
(it was big! now, a twig)
(holy smokes, my theory broke!)
a literary pangea.

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

Well my my! What a lovely and accurately portayed addendum to my piece. Were this the cinema, I would say yours is a worthy sequel which more fully explores the ideas introduced in the original.

And if you dig back through my poetry, I think you'll be amazed (I know I am) at how similar our poetic styles are. ODD.

And last but not least, how did you stumble across my humble journal? And do you mind if I add you?

[omnedai.livejournal.com]

the truth is, i wrote that poem sometime last year.
reading your poem (after finding you through carly (http://www.livejournal.com/users/disco_cunt)'s journal),
i thought the two were too similar to avoid commenting.

it's uncanny, isn't it?

i do not mind if you add me, of course.

[jackshoegazer.livejournal.com]

That's quite uncanny. Downright spooky. Like those scientists who somehow invented or discovered the same thing on almost the same day.

Two surfers on the same wave.

Two pigeons in the park.

Two two for twos.

Toof.

[omnedai.livejournal.com]

two cavemen drawing the same space alien on each his own dining room wall.