Zeus and Thor are sky gods.

I was struck by lightning this morning.

Seriously.

Well, at least I think so. Let me give you the 411 (that means information) and you can decide for yourself.

I left work at 5:30 this morning to discover that it was raining. A lot. And there were massive bolts of lightning illuminating the sky. The water came down in blinding torrents, overwhelming my windshield wipers. Thunder roared overhead like a chorus of pizza and beer belches.

The following events happened in the snap of fingers, in the crack of a whip: I felt a slight warmth just as everything went white. An electric crackle and a transistor-like pop resounded loudly above my head. And then the world came back.

Was my car stuck by lightning? It wasn't just like a bright bolt near me, all around me was a single blinding strobe of light, and the thunder peal like a shattering light bulb sounded like it was mere inches from the top of my head. Does anyone know what happens to a car if it is struck? Will the electrical system be kersizzled? Do the rubber tires ground-out the vehicle?

I had better be careful; the sky gods are aiming for me.

Thank you, Bill.

... from Bill Maher's closing bit :

"Mr. President, this job can't be fun for you any more. There's no more money to spend--you used up all of that. You can't start another war because you used up the army. And now, darn the luck, the rest of your term has become the Bush family nightmare: helping poor people. Listen to your Mom. The cupboard's bare, the credit cards maxed out. No one's speaking to you. Mission accomplished.

"Now it's time to do what you've always done best: lose interest and walk away. Like you did with your military service and the oil company and the baseball team. It's time. Time to move on and try the next fantasy job. How about cowboy or space man? Now I know what you're saying: there's so many other things that you as President could involve yourself in. Please don't. I know, I know. There's a lot left to do. There's a war with Venezuela. Eliminating the sales tax on yachts. Turning the space program over to the church. And Social Security to Fannie Mae. Giving embryos the vote.

"But, Sir, none of that is going to happen now. Why? Because you govern like Billy Joel drives. You've performed so poorly I'm surprised that you haven't given yourself a medal. You're a catastrop he that walks like a man. Herbert Hoover was a shitty president, but even he never conceded an entire city to rising water and snakes.

"On your watch, we've lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon and the City of New Orleans. Maybe you're just not lucky. I'm not saying you don't love this country. I'm just wondering how much worse it could be if you were on the other side.

"So, yes, God does speak to you. What he is saying is: 'Take a hint.' "