Silly Ravers

Here is the latest flyer I designed. Silly Ravers.

Instant Poem

"On the Fly, Just now I Sigh"

To those who prefer to ponder,
I offer this abstract wonder:
A rambling rant of disdain power,
Emotional terror, an abject flower.

Bullshit, you scream from coast to coast,
I thrust the post and told the ghost,
Your hair is more like silk than most,
Frayed and frazzled, we drink, we toast.

You paint a pulse of anti-matter,
The room, it squeals with inane chatter,
Mr. DeeJay spin the platter,
And spray us all with fecal matter.

Oh gross! you say at my disaster,
Poetic decency, my dead Zen Master,
A rhyming scheme sure to shatter,
An ecstatic affront to my grey matter.

Listen close, here's one more verse,
A chance to rant, a chance to curse,
Mother, listen, open your purse,
You'll find an ocean, my heart immerse.
I wrote this just now, did not rehearse.
This could go on and on, perverse,
But trust me folks, it just gets worse.

A Letter from the President

Dear Undecided Voter,

It's election time again. Just so you know here's what I've already
achieved in my first 4 years of being your President:

I attacked and took over 2 countries.

I spent the US surplus and bankrupted the US Treasury. I shattered the record for the biggest annual deficit in history (It's hard work)!

I set an economic record for the most personal bankruptcies filed in any 12 month period.

I set all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the stock
market.

I set a record for most days on vacation by any president in US History
(tough to beat my dad's, but I did).

After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, I presided over
the worst security failure in US History.

I set the record for most campaign fund raising trips by any president in US History.

In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their jobs.

I cut unemployment benefits for more out-of-work Americans than any other president in US History.

I set the all-time record for most real estate foreclosures in a 12-month
period.

I appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any president in US History.

I set the record for the fewest press conferences of any president, since
the advent of TV.

I signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than any other US President in history.

I presided over the biggest energy crises in US History and refused to
intervene when corruption was revealed.

I cut health care benefits for war veterans. (It was hard work, and I caught a lot of flak over this one.)

I set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.

I dissolved more international treaties than any president in US History.

I've made my presidency the most secretive and unaccountable of any in US History.

Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US History. (The poorest multimillionaire, Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.)

I am the first president in US history to have all 50 states of the Union
simultaneously struggle against bankruptcy.

I presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud in any market in any country in the history of the world.

I am the first president in US history to order a US Attack AND military
occupation of a sovereign nation, and I did so against the will of the United Nations and the vast majority of the international community.

I have created the largest government department! bureaucracy in the history of the United States, called the "Bureau of Homeland Security" (only one letter away from BS).

I set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any other president in US history (Ronnie was tough to beat, but I did it! It is very hard work).

I am the first president in US history to compel the United Nations remove the US from the Human Rights Commission.

I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the Elections Monitoring Board.

I removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of
congressional oversight than any presidential administration in US history.

I rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant. I withdrew from the World Court of Law.

I refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and by default
no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.

I am the first president in US history to refuse United Nations election
inspectors access during the 2002 US elections.

I am the all-time US (and World) record holder for most corporate campaign donations.

The biggest lifetime contributor to my campaign, who is also one of my best friends, presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).

I spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in US
history. I am the first president to run and hide when the US came under attack (and then lied, saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1).

I am the first US President to establish a secret shadow government.

I took the world's sympathy for the US after 9/11, and in less than a year made the US the most resented country in the world (possibly the biggest diplomatic failure in US and world history).

I am the first US president in history to have a majority of the people of
Europe (71% view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and stability.

I changed US Policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.

I set the all-time record for the number of administration appointees who violated US Law by not selling their huge investments in corporations bidding for government contracts.

I have removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other president in US History.

I entered office with the strongest economy in US History and in less than two years turned every single economic category heading straight down.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

I have at least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas driving
record has been erased and is not available).

I was AWOL from the National Guard and deserted the military during time of war.

I refuse to take a drug test or even answer any questions about drug use. (wink, wink)

All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to my fathers library, sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt
companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

All minutes of meetings of any public corporation for which I served on the board are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public
review.

With Love,

GEORGE W. BUSH

The White House, Washington, DC

Note: Circulate to as many citizens you think need to be reminded to register and vote this November.

***
Please vote in November!

Afternoon...

I've taken a page from Kiwikat, and have gone to a simple black and white picture, which I love now. I photoshopped the background and inserted a painting of s stellated dodecahedron which a friend painted for me. Otherwise it would have been my computer and a bookshelf, and that was just too damned busy, detracting attention from my handsome mug. This is also the first public appearance of my beard, which is a new thing for me. After many trials and triblations in the relationship department, I've come to the decision that I don't care anymore. If a relationship comes barreling down the highway in my direction, so be it, but I am not trying or looking anymore. This decision has freed me from the urge to look as good as I can, i.e. shaving daily and dressing 'nice'. With these things out of the way, I've decided to grow a beard, which I've never done before, except for a stint of thick stubble for Halloween last year. I like the beard so far, even though I've always had reservations about beards due to several factors, such as: 1) Beards were so 1980's; 2) My father and his Grizzly Adams beard. I've never idolized the man, and have always been in fear of looking like him in my later years, but alas, as I've aged, I look nothing like him (which raises some poignant questions in and of itself.) So on goes the beard experiment!

Tomorrow morning I'm going to the Wisconsin Book Festival with Anna, as I mentioned before. We talked on the phone yesterday and finalized our plans. I'm constantly amazed at how well she and I get along and how we gel, as they say. I've totally been enamoured with her since I first saw her on my last day of training at work. Well, more accurately, I was curious on that day, and once I got to talk to her, several months later, I became enamoured. It really is a shame she has a boyfriend though. Three or four years they've been together. She even has his name tattooed on her back in chinese. She's extremely intelligent, a writer, and devastatingly cute. I have dowsed my delusions about anything happening between us, or at least I tell myself I have. It would be weird to be 'the other guy' and she is a very loyal personality anyway. I'm sure we'll have a great time tomorrow though. The Festival should be awesome. We're going to a few presentations/events, sort of writer's workshop things. I might try to sneak over to the Jack Kerouac event and see the original manuscript for "On the Road". It's a 120 foot single roll of paper, single spaced and stained with coffee and Kerouac's fingerprints. There's also a book sale at the Memorial Library - $2.00 a bag, bring your own bag! That's just insane! I woner how big of a bag they'll consider 'fair'. Hmmm.. either way, my book collection is about to substantially increase. Yay! Anyway, wish me luck and God help my ego while I am surrounded by writers who can really write.