Oct. 6th, 2007

jackshoegazer: (Alone/Trees)
In many ways, it is my view that the entirety of existence, the universe and all its baggage, properties, rules and mysteries, are made of consciousness, awareness, of varying degrees and vibrations.  We have nailed down most of the physics of creation, and this has told us that everything is energy, even matter is but slow-vibrating energy.  The one thing that goes undiscovered and unaccounted for is consciousness.  Strip everything else away and what is left?  Take away my body and my mind and all that is left is my consciousness, and some would argue my soul, which I would argue is one and the same.

I see the physical universe as the external manifestation of God.  And by God, I mean, an organism, like ourselves, that was once nothing and then came into existence and is spending its life growing sensory organs with which to explore its environment and to discover what it is and why it is.  We are those sensory organs.  In reply to the question, "What is the purpose of life?" Kilgore Trout once said, "To be the ears, eyes, and conscience of the creator of the universe, you fool."  As our eyes and ears tell us about our world, we in turn send messages back.

I often must remind myself that my actions, my decisions, what I do, how I do it, everything I experience, is telling God what kind of being S/He is.  With so many people lying, cheating, stealing, and killing, it is no wonder we have the kind of world we do.  Is this what we want to tell God S/He is?  Once I felt the pain and anguish of the world, of every war, of every murder throughout history as a massive rolling wave of ground up blood and bone and wondered what it meant.  I think now I understand.
jackshoegazer: (Writing/Poetry)
sometimes
i feel perfect
and other times
i feel
another existential crisis
coming on.

or
maybe its ennui
or
my saturn return
or
a mild depression
brought on by
seasonal affectiveness
disorder
as the days
grow shorter.

or perhaps
i am just pissed
at my neighbor
who honks
his car horn
at 5 am.

but i am thinking
(which is different from
feeling)
that this is
natural
growing pains
not physical
(my knees don't hurt)
but mental
and
spiritual
(my head hurts)
so
when i am done
i will be
perfect
again.

or
so I fool myself.

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jackshoegazer

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