I have had a similar feeling of squandered how "How can you regain what was never lost feeling...I even wrote a little something about it...it is amatuerish at best...but I thought I'd share.

"I feel the wind blowing wings I've forgotten how to feel.
Giving me a sad sweet reminder of the life that was real.

Oh it hasn't left me, it never has, It waits for me silent and still. It's just that I, forgot the way to surrender to it's will.

It can't be chained, and woe to the hand that makes bold to bid or control, I forgot to let go, gave into fear and now it takes it's toll. Mmmm.

I'm not fallen and I'm not mean, niether exalted and in the light. I'm in the bitter in-between and desparing at my plight.

I want to dance to the song of songs that every moment sings...hear it's music in my breathe and the life it's fire brings.

I will get up one day and fly into that celestial day. Unfettered by doubt, or fear or pain and show my people the way.


I feel the wind blowing wings I've forgotten how to feel.
Giving me a sad sweet reminder of the life that was real.

Oh it hasn't left me, it never has, It waits for me silent and still. It's just that I, forgot the way to surrender to it's will."


Almost sounds like Bob Dylan in my head.