jackshoegazer (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
jackshoegazer) wrote2005-10-28 04:02 am
jackshoegazer) wrote2005-10-28 04:02 am
Entry tags:
Cirque du Gillette
The ever effervescent ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
choogy sent me the link to a contest, to write - in 250 words or less - a letter to your spouse, whom you are leaving to join the circus. Convince them that this is a major career move.
Here is my submission:
It was originally much longer with more punchlines, but hey, limits are limits. For instance, on this piece, I wanted it to end with "Call it fate, call it destiny, just don't call me Jason. I'm Priscilla!"
I once wrote a story that had to be 2500 words and was only 2250. I then wrote an exactly 250-word P.S. explaining why it was short and tying the explanation into the theme of the piece. It was damned clever and can't find it anywhere.
Tonight's entry has been brought to you by the letter
and the dastardly denizens of Denmark.
choogy sent me the link to a contest, to write - in 250 words or less - a letter to your spouse, whom you are leaving to join the circus. Convince them that this is a major career move.Here is my submission:
To my dearest DeeDee,I know when you arrived home this evening, you were surprised I wasn’t here, huddled under an afghan, watching my soaps. If you haven’t already discovered it, you’ll be still more surprised to discover that your clothes are gone. Yes, your clothes. I can’t think of an easy way to put this, so I’ll just say it. I’m leaving you.
Remember when I went in for that tonsillectomy? And remember how upset I was when they accidentally switched charts and gave me breast implants instead? And now it’s been months, but my lawyers haven’t gotten anything done and I haven’t planned to have them removed? Yeah, um, because it was no accident. I got them on purpose.
This is years in the planning. I’ve been skimming off the top of my Social Security check since before I met you. The circus pays twice what I’m getting from the government! And I’ll feel fulfilled. Since I was a boy, whenever I saw a bearded man, I pictured him in a dress. Like a fuzzy Laura Ingalls.
I know this is hard to understand, and I don’t expect you too. I also don’t expect you to try and find me, knowing who I really am. See, I’ve had this dream, since as long as I can remember… to be in the circus, as the bearded-lady. I’m sorry I lied.
You must be asking yourself, WHY? I can’t answer that. Call it fate, destiny, call Jerry Springer.
Love,
Jason
It was originally much longer with more punchlines, but hey, limits are limits. For instance, on this piece, I wanted it to end with "Call it fate, call it destiny, just don't call me Jason. I'm Priscilla!"
I once wrote a story that had to be 2500 words and was only 2250. I then wrote an exactly 250-word P.S. explaining why it was short and tying the explanation into the theme of the piece. It was damned clever and can't find it anywhere.
Tonight's entry has been brought to you by the letter
and the dastardly denizens of Denmark.