jackshoegazer: (Default)
My one-year LJ anniversary is rapidly approaching, which means, it's also been almost a year since my Cleansing Fast (follow the ritual tags), performed over the three days of the September New Moon. I meant to do a similar cleansing ritual at least quarterly, but alas, for various reasons that in retrospect don't matter, I didn't. But I refuse to not do it at least annually. Which means next New Moon, I will be abstaining from food (except tea), intoxicants (all of them), sex (in all forms), and general "immoral" activities (like killing babies and voting Republican.)

Let me check the calendar... okay, it looks like that will be the second through the fourth of October.

Circumstances have placed a case of Leinenkugel's in my refrigerator, so I've been able to come home and have a bier before going to sleep. This, for the record has been nice.

In general, most everything has been nice lately. Which contrasts highly with my roommate, who is under the impression that the Universe is collapsing around him. And judging from the week or two he has had, I'd be forced to agree. Poor guy.

I have to get some sleep, peoples. There are guests arriving this afternoon for a Labor Day cookout and I should be conscious and well-rested. And then tonight, when the house is quiet and owls are out, I will be editing.
jackshoegazer: (Default)


Jan 11 2005

Hotelier exorcises devil-worshipper Crowley's old bed
By Michaela Banks

A HOTEL bed which belonged to devil-worshipper Aleister Crowley is to be exorcised.

The white witch who will conduct the ceremony to stop strange happenings disturbing guests says the ritual will be 'the ultimate battle between good and evil'.
Andy Pavitt, owner of the Steadings Hotel, near Inverness, inherited the bed and other furniture belonging to the notorious Satanist from the previous owners.
They also owned nearby Boleskine House, where Crowley, who lived there early last century, claimed to have conducted an elaborate sex magic ritual which drove a housemaid mad and left the house haunted.

Now Andy, 40, has called in Kevin Carlyon, High Priest of White Witches, to conduct a 'cleansing ceremony'.

Kevin says he will time the 30--minute exorcism for the full moon on January 25.
He said: 'It is almost like trying to exorcise Satan himself. Crowley has such a reputation that it will be the ultimate battle between good and evil.'
Along with Crowley's bed, the hotel has a child's bed, a three-piece suite and a portrait from Boleskine.

Andy said: 'The room with Crowley's bed always has a very strong musty smell.
'We had it checked for damp and there isn't any. A couple of times we have had people saying they woke up because they felt moving or shaking.
'My wife, Caroline, doesn't like being in the room with the child's bed and the picture. She says even if she puts the heating on it feels cold.'

Crowley died penniless and addicted to heroin in 1947. From the 1970s to 1990s, Boleskine was owned by Led Zeppelin guitarist Jimmy Page.
jackshoegazer: (777 Pyramid Eye Sun)
Its like 10:30pm or something and I just woke up again. I've been sleeping some weird hours. Like I slept from 10am to 2pm got up and picked Ethan up from school and did the whole after-school/homework thing, then fell asleep again from 4:30 to 6:30 then woke up, ate dinner and hung out with everybody, then passes out again from 9:00 to 10:30. Now I'll be up for a few hours, but I have to get back up at 6am to get Ethan up for school. Then sleep the afternoon away because I have to work Friday night. I'm glad my sleep cycle is mutable, or I'd be dead by now. It does help that I regulate my sleep cycle with melatonin (ask me if you don't know about this miraculous substance). The plus side to sleeping in these little chunks is that I'm remembering more of my dreams. For instance, while I was doing my cleansing ritual, I had a dream that I was driving a brand new car, really fast, and there were no brakes. Literally, there was no brake pedal! When I finally got the car stopped, I found that the brake was under the seat but first I had to clean out a giant pile of shit that was under the seat! I know, you're thinking "Ew. gross!" but symbolically, you know, the language of dreams, thats great. The analogy is readily obvious... cleansing ritual... cleaning up shit.. get it? And cars (or vehicles in general) as symbols of your 'driving power' (a.k.a. libido, energy, etc..) having a brand new, fast car, is a great sign. My big problem was that I was unable to regulate it due to a big build up of shit, which I promptly cleaned up. Ta Dah!
Oh, and just now, I dreamt that I was in a haunted house and the girl who owned the house kept getting shocked when she would try to vacuum or plug anything into the wall. I forget a bit of the dream but I somehow figured out how to get the ghost to stop and let the girl use the vacuum. This seems to be another dream along the same lines, there is a ghost (a dead force or energy) that is preventing the girl (an intuitive feminine aspect of myself) from 'plugging in', i.e. getting energy in which to get work done, represented by vacuuming, hence cleaning again. The energy that was to be used for 'work' by this feminine aspect was being misdirected in a harmful manner, the shocks/electrocution. Dealing with the ghost has allowed the cleaning to continue and the work to get done.
God, I love Dreams!


Sep. 15th, 2004 05:35 pm
jackshoegazer: (Default)
Ok everyone, you can stop applauding now, thank you, thank you.
I completed my 72 hours of fasting, abstinence, and meditation. I lost 9 pounds, but no great spiritual revelations to report, but I did learn quite a bit about the relationship between the mind and the body. And let me tell you this: The Body is a Stubborn Bitch. It wants what it wants and if wants it NOW! No, not in 72 hours. It wants it NOW GOD DAMMIT! But now we know who is the Boss. No, it has nothing to do with Tony Danza and Judith Light. My friend Maya told me that if I can do this, then I can do anything. I certainly hope she's right. And I must have done something 'remarkable' because everyone I've talked to has said they could never abstain from everything for 72 hours. I had one guy tell me he thought only women fasted. What the fuck does that mean? and then he goes, "Is that some sort of Buddhist thing?"
jackshoegazer: (Default)
I am now 52 hours into my Cleansing Ritual. For some reason I woke up this evening with a massive cloud of cynicism down pouring around me. Almost anything having to do with the deeper more spiritual aspect of life makes me chortle and say "Yeah, Right" is a condescendingly dismissive voice. At the moment I see no light at the end of the tunnel, no silver lining to my clouds, no dawn for the dark night of my soul.
jackshoegazer: (Default)
It's the morning and I have not eaten in 30ish hours. I am starving. I am fully aware of how much the body can influence thought. It's ridiculous. Everytime I see something that even reminds me of food, I can feel my stomach reach up and throttle my brain, grab control of my movement functions and try to reach my hand out to grab the suspected food item and shove it down my gullet. I feel very light, not as in weight, but as in attachment to my body right now. My whole body has a sort of fuzzy buzzing going on about it, almost as if my 'aura' had suddenly kicked up a notch. I'm feeling oddly creative and ostensibly tired. I'm about the run the wee lad to school, and after that take a nice long vacation to SleepyTime DreamLand, lest I succumb to the temptation of food. Of course my roommate chooses yesterday to do shopping, so there's a fridge and pantry just full of yummy morsels. Fuck.
jackshoegazer: (Default)

Good Morning everyone. Only the anorexic can understand how hungry I am right now. I had some tea and lots of water in the last 24 hours and that's about it. Does tea count as food? I used honey. Is that bad? I don't think so. But now, I'm almost bored. There is a ton of things I could do, but none of them seem remotely appealing. Maybe I'll go shopping. Oh, but there's no where to go. Why isn't there a 24 hour Walmart in this hellhole?? Not that I should be shopping at that evil place, but what else are you supposed to do when you suddenly have the urge to buy rubber cement in the middle of the night??!
jackshoegazer: (Default)
I swear, if i believed in suicide, today would be the day. But it's all stupid outer-world things. No money, car dying, unrequited love, you know, the usual. Kiwikat sent me a song to listen to (Ani Difranco - Untouchable Face), claiming it would help, so we shall see and I will report the results. But I do like any song that says "Fuck You!" and this one does, so thats great.

On the bright side, I made a funky collage at work last night, I started my major cleansing ritual today. For three days, I will abstain from food and onanism and intoxicants of any sort whatsoever. Fasting and meditation and a wee bit o' magick for three days cumulating on the New Moon. I will report results as they come in.
Now Marcy with Sports.....


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